i think it's fucking pathetic that i am moping around like a loser watching reruns of The Nanny and Friends on tv and online till i laugh myself crazy and try to forget, then something comes up that triggers my memories and there, i get numb and space out again.

it's not fair, life never is. but i think that this is one of the worst things that has ever happened in my life. scratch that,

the worst thing that has ever happened to me.