Dear J/I,
i'm sorry. none of my following words will ever explain how very apologetic i am, and i will never stop regretting this for the rest of my life. nobody understands what we've been through together, or how much we talk each and every night till i fall asleep, dreaming of what could have been. this is the only ending that is feasible for us, even though it's definitely not what i'd like. as they say, sometimes goodbye is the only way. i've had too much to give up in a short span of time, and it's tough on me. i've lost so much, i've been through enough hell to ensure that every small good thing that happens to me will be a blessing. you are the one person i hate to have to give up. but hey, who am i to complain? i don't want you to have a bad ending, i want you to be happy and be at peace, i want you to have the life that you deserve from the beginning of our time together. you are an angel, and you don't deserve the bad things i've done to you. none of it.
how do i put this gently?
i stand at my window nightly, looking at the pavement 5 floors down and what it'd be like to be sprawled across that ground. my problems and worries would be gone, along with my parents' hearts. i think that the only way out would be to end this all, but then i think of my parents, and my best friend, and the people who actually care about me, and i shut the windows and climb into bed. life's tough on me now ever since this, but there's so much more to live for, i suppose. there's work, and there's a very special girl who goes by the name of Audrey Wong who is the most amazing friend anyone could ever ask for, and my parents who are wonderful. i smile, i laugh, i make stupid jokes, all to mask these things that i have to face everyday, and the worst thing is, i have nothing to make it better for me. i live on talking to this special someone who's there all the time, but what do i make of this friendship? nothing.
how do you say goodbye, please help.
azfar is of the past. i want my future to have nothing to do with him, or the catastrophies that he's made me go through. so many regrets in life, sam, and this is the biggest one yet.
i'm sorry. none of my following words will ever explain how very apologetic i am, and i will never stop regretting this for the rest of my life. nobody understands what we've been through together, or how much we talk each and every night till i fall asleep, dreaming of what could have been. this is the only ending that is feasible for us, even though it's definitely not what i'd like. as they say, sometimes goodbye is the only way. i've had too much to give up in a short span of time, and it's tough on me. i've lost so much, i've been through enough hell to ensure that every small good thing that happens to me will be a blessing. you are the one person i hate to have to give up. but hey, who am i to complain? i don't want you to have a bad ending, i want you to be happy and be at peace, i want you to have the life that you deserve from the beginning of our time together. you are an angel, and you don't deserve the bad things i've done to you. none of it.
how do i put this gently?
i stand at my window nightly, looking at the pavement 5 floors down and what it'd be like to be sprawled across that ground. my problems and worries would be gone, along with my parents' hearts. i think that the only way out would be to end this all, but then i think of my parents, and my best friend, and the people who actually care about me, and i shut the windows and climb into bed. life's tough on me now ever since this, but there's so much more to live for, i suppose. there's work, and there's a very special girl who goes by the name of Audrey Wong who is the most amazing friend anyone could ever ask for, and my parents who are wonderful. i smile, i laugh, i make stupid jokes, all to mask these things that i have to face everyday, and the worst thing is, i have nothing to make it better for me. i live on talking to this special someone who's there all the time, but what do i make of this friendship? nothing.
how do you say goodbye, please help.
azfar is of the past. i want my future to have nothing to do with him, or the catastrophies that he's made me go through. so many regrets in life, sam, and this is the biggest one yet.
posted by samantha at
Monday, August 03, 2009
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