HATE ALL OF THIS BULL hate the way i feel, hate the way things are turning out for tonight and probably the rest of the weekend, i'll cross my fingers and hope we'll still make it. stop being so emotional stop being so annoying, stop talking like an asshole, sam. before he leaves for good and never even talks to me again, do you fucking want that or not?

angry & upset all at the same time, sometimes i wish that i worked 7 days a week cos with the kids around i don't need anyone else, im the grown up, i'm the one they depend on. i become the most independent person around. i miss them. today i carried Reuben and told him, "you make me smile every single day, you are the only thing that still makes me happy."
then he giggled at me and touched my face. <3

i feel like crying just about now so i'll go wash my hair and cry while the water comes running down so i can cry like an asshole cos honestly i've never felt this fucked up all week long