different people come and go in your life for different reasons, but the reason for being in yours is the saddest one ever. it's been such a long time since i've felt this unhappy, felt this unfulfilled. something just seems to be missing between us now, things don't feel so perfect anymore. i'm trying so hard to be distant, to be independent, just so history wouldn't repeat itself. i'm trying so hard, fighting back so many urges to dial your number, to text you, to give you that huge hug because i left in a fit of anger. so many things i want to say, but i don't know what it is that gets the better of me.

i started it this time. for no rhyme or reason, i showed the face and ignored everything you said. for no good reason at all, i showed my temper. because i think too much, i think too far and too deep in. there are just certain types of hurt that you shouldn't experience more than once, and this is one of them. i want to be done with this.

you are one of the sweetest boys ever, and i thought i knew you quite well but sometimes,we don't know people as much as we think we do. you've treated me so well for the past 2 or 3 months, and i cannot be more thankful for that. but still. it's too much. it's too overwhelming, everything is.

but despite everything i've said, i'm not ready to say goodbye. not yet.